IT'S SUMMER LET'S COME OUT AND PLAY

Summer my most favourite time of the year, I still get the same fuzziness I've always had as a little girl, the excitement of buying new clothes, the warm summery colours, families going to town for their holiday shopping and bright beautiful flowers everywhere.

THE FLOWER TREND

The feeling of soft cotton and flowing down my body is the best feeling.  Since this is the time best time for food markets. I figured it's the best time to be playful and simple, and who said girls can't be beautiful and playful at the same? since food markets have open plan settings and with food stalls all over the place, staying comfortable is a necessity and best to be comfortable and trendy this summer is to team up florals with great sneakers or pointy flats and flip flop are also big at the moment.  Here is a little inspiration from me to you...

Have fun, find love, give love and unapologetically you, have a great weekend.

REMOVING SOME CLUTTER FROM MY LIFE

A NECESSARY SPRING CLEANING

As the year is drawing to an end, i figured i should sit back and do some self introspection and i realized that i needed to detach myself from a lot of things.  It is easy for one to change themselves or adapt to certain situations in the name of building relationships and what one fails to see is that each time you change yourself for someone else your soul slowly fades away and before you know it you have zero identity.  And you find yourself hoping from space to space trying to fit in.  In the past i held a position in a bank that required me to change my image, the business's corporate wardrobe required one to look a certain way and that way for me was superficial, but because i was happy about this opportunity that had fell on my lap the change did not seem like a drastic measure and before i knew it i was turning into someone i didn't even recognize, a very unhappy woman who was also too compromising.  I resigned and went on a quest to start my own company which did not work out.  However in all of this i found out that i was on a journey of rediscovery, i was no longer afraid to call out people who were out of line, and i was unapologetic about my decisions.  But lately i realized that i have to sit back and recheck who is riding with me and no longer welcome.

The bitter friend :  I have a friend who has the most terrible temper and i find that each time i spend time with her i feel like my soul has been to a very cold, empty and God forsaken place and she has to go.

The gossip monger : This friend is always looking out for other people's weakest moments and what he/she does not realize is that people are moving further into greatness and she is stuck, she is also going.

Procrastination : This is all me, I have the best ideas and clear ways of how to implement them, but i postpone until they no longer seem relevant, I promise that i am slowly moving away from this behavior. 

Jealous people : They are quiet an active bunch, who have a talent for breaking down good things done by others and this spirit has to stay in 2018 we don't need it in the next year.

The selfish friend : This wonderful person has been there for me in my worst days and they have had a good impact on me i won't deny it, but the new me is a big hearted, purpose driven and sharing person, they don't have a space in my life now because everything has to about them 

The leader who lacks a backbone : In 2019 if you consider yourself a leader you must have a backbone, we can't be lead by spineless people, how will you lead us if you can't stand up straight?

To move forward and be great at what you do, one needs to be very firm about who gets to stay in their lives and other traits are good in the teenage phase but bad for matured people, BE BOLD, BE BRAVE, BE AWESOME!!!

SUMMER RAIN'S LOVE AND BETRAYAL

HIS EYES AND MASCULINITY MADE ME TO IT

I knew what his love meant to her, I knew how she longed to be his.  She loved him enough to believe that his love belonged to no other but her, she used to be my friend she used to be the most important thing in my life and I once cheered for her to give him a chance and I for a long e believed they were meant to be together.  Now all that has changed, all of that changed on that hot summer day, he was in the local play field watching soccer and as I approached he started walking towards me, what could this mean could it be the universe setting us up or were our bodies responding to the lusts we were secretly harbouring towards each other?  As he was walking it started raining I stood there soaking in the rain. As he got closer he looked at me and looked down and as he look up again I caught his gaze and I was sold.  His eyes ignited a fire I was not intending on putting off and I wanted him to hold me in his arms, I wanted to taste his his lips and I wanted to feel my head against his strong chest. His scent, his masculinity and the rain, the cooling summer rain were enough for me to want to dance in the rain and forget that he meant everything to someone else. To me he was my summer fling, I lusted after his power and maybe he was a just weakness.  I recognized something about myself through him. All of this I'll never know, but he's was worth the loss and he is a sin I'll never regret, he is my summer love.

This is the time to live out our fantasies, to laugh uncontrollably and to live life without thinking about the consequences. Come out and let's dance in the rain...

Weisenhof Coffee Shop and Restaurant

I needed a lovely and quiet setting to recoup a day after black Friday.  As you may have realised I have a thing for tranquil gardens, and good food. The biggest highlight for me when it comes to this place is the leafy garden and a chirping little birdie here and there and well their choice of music, for me nothing beats enjoying a great meal listen to good music.  Sitting here I can't help but start day dreaming about having my own little family and driving out here every Saturday for some hearty and tasty breakfast, the place is kids friendly with a secured and user friendly kiddies play area, you can enjoy your cup of tea while watching your pride and joy having a time of their life and if unlike me you are not a dreamer and outdoors person like me. Their dining hall is just as great, wooden finished suitable for a traditional boer vibes. The staff is warm and friendly and the manager sees to it that your stay at the place is comfortable he keeps checking up on you without imposing and making you feel uneasy, because Heidelberg is a traditional small dorpie, the people who frequent the restaurant are mostly white, however you will never feel unwanted or awkward there's no barriers or gaps experienced when one is enjoying their meal.  I still maintain that Afrikaaners know their meat and they kill it, for anyone who'd like to visit Heidelberg they must make sure that they add weisenhof to their wishlist...


For a relaxed and healing experience, not to mention traditionally prepared pork spare ribs weisenhof coffee shop and restaurant is the place to go...

BROKEN DREAMS

A NORMAL DAY FOR PRIMARY SCHOOL PUPILS

I watched in total shock and disbelief as children as young as 12 years old pin each other down and strangle each other, hurling insults i could never dare to utter even if i were drunk.  It took me back to years when i was their age, a time of blissful ignorance and total oblivion to the ills of the world.  A time when children where children and adults knew their place, in those days the same school was a place of highest discipline, a place where conduct was the order of the day. In those days you could never wear the navy and powder blue uniform and think you could behave anyway you pleased.  We were often reminded that we had the same colours as the SAPS and we had to behave like people who were upholding the law.  I remember how we would be blessed with beatings for not telling on those who didn't pay mind to their books after classes and then struggle at school, no child in our school would fight wearing school uniform and get away with their actions, every crime was brought to book.  What happened to our beloved school?  It died, yes it died with the then school head Mr Moletsane.  A man who taught us that one never stops learning, a man who called us lions because we were royalty, he took all the good we had with when he went to the grave.  Now the current pupils are left with broken dreams as they embark on a journey of the unknown. they are walking their path blindly without any guidance, they are the future that is allowed to fight, cuss and bully each other. they stab each other instead of encourage each other.  Their teachers are afraid of them as they watch them teach others how the engage in sexual activities. how does a grade 1 pupil teach his fellow school companion such?  A grade 4 pupil robs his classmates off  their clothes and is not even shy to tell that he doesn't have anything to wear and he gets cold.  After being confronted by a concerned parent he tells them that his mom will stab them to death.  What is the Vaal triangle turning into?  How do we restore these broken dreams and promises we were given after 1994?  who do we blame? All we have are questions we cannot answer, all we have are broken dreams.

Children are our future lets us protect and encourage them to be better leaders.

A Passage Of Becoming

I have always being fearless, however my fearlessness has always been misguided, I remember I have always being disgruntled by seeing other people being unhappy or oppressed, for me people didn't have flaws and therefore they didn't deserve punishment. As I got to understand the law of life It became clear that I was custodian to the well-being of those that didn't have a voice, but the fear of operating in that realm made me a rebellious. I rebelled against my reality and purpose, I never feared death and anything that had of destroying me and for me to learn certain lessons I walked on paths I knew led to destruction the darker the path the more I wanted to explore.  It took one extreme experience, it was not harsh nor was it traumatic but I think my angel had had it with my ways. It was meant to be a perfect,  fun and meaningless night, but everything went wrong. I was invited to Tsogo Sun- garden court in Morningside for a steamy rendezvous, a night of blissful ignorance, my date went through the trouble of making sure it was a night to remember he called a cab for me, went to meet me by the hotel entrance, ordered room service and  breakfast specifically prepared for me. But I couldn't fully enjoy myself, it was like my inner being was deliberately letting me down, I kept asking myself if dragging other people into my mess was the answer?, was self destructing the easiest way out?, was existing better than living? Laying between those white sheets took me to a place whereby my purpose was confronted, I left Sandton a few notes richer, but my spirit was cast down, it took to me that night to walk a path unknown to anyone but my soul, the darkest place I've ever been, running away was no longer an option. With every step I am brought closer to myself and each day my purpose gets clearer and greater. I am well on my way to becoming who I was born to be. I am on a path that has never being walked before, a journey of becoming.

To live a life of purpose means, letting go of a lot of comforts and loosing a lot of friendships, however the joy and fulfilment are the priceless promises no one can ever take away from you.

I AM THAT I AM

I AM...

I am what I was created to be, I am not my eyes nor am I my lips, I am not my body nor am I my legs, I am not an object of anybody's desire, nor am I what you want me to be, I am my purpose, I am a contributor to the promise of tomorrow.  I am a carrier of a hope and a reflection of greatness. I am unapologetically proud of all that I carry and how I carry myself.  If you feel that I am inappropriate I'm my approach them maybe you should look the other way when I'm facing your way. I am here to walk my path, reach out to those I was called for.  I am woman, I am my truth and I will fight for it until you accept that my path is mine and my looks have nothing to do with it. I am Nthabiseng and I am here for change and change I will bring.

Happy Friday, love, make love and show love...

WAYS TO KEEP A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Relationship are fun

We tend to believe that relationships were meant to bring torment and heart break, however that is far from the truth, relationships are meant to groom us into better human beings. But it takes a special kind of a mindset to understand that it takes effort to cultivate a healthy and happy relationship.  There are characteristics to a happy relationship and those characteristics are:

Love : One must not be in any kind of a relationship with people they don't love, it is and will always be a recipe for disaster.

Honesty :  Be honest to another in all your actions and decisions.

Transparency : Being transparent about the reasons you are both in a relationship and lay out all your expectations and intentions will yield best results.

Perseverance : Carry each other's burdens, and bear with one another when things are tough and help find a way out.

Understanding : Being able to reach a level of understanding whereby one is able to accept the fact that we all come from different backgrounds and therefore what matters to you might senseless to you, but understanding will help maintain mutual respect.

Compromise : I still maintain that for a relationship to thrive there is always a party that has to compromise more than the other, others call them tops and a bottoms and a bottom will always take the last preference, my take is if the relationship is worth it then why not?

Compassion : Have compassion for your partner, be their first port of call and let them know that you have their back.

Communication : Communication is the most important characteristic of a healthy relationship, if you are able to talk about what you don't like or what you expect will make it easy for your partner to avoid hurting you and they will also be able to let you know if they are failing to meet any of your expectations and you can also do likewise.

Affection : Affection is the most practical way to forging a bond in a relationship and once that bond is secured, no distance formed against your relationship shall prosper.

Intimacy : Once one can master the art of intimacy, great sex will come naturally and there won't be an urge for one to cheat or find other alternatives to a one sided source of satisfaction.

Respect : Respect is a foundation to a strong, stable and healthy relationship, with respect one can master all these other traits effortlessly.

Guard your heart with all diligence, out of it flows the issues of life...

LIVING TO PLEASE OTHERS

WE ARE CONDITIONED TO COMFORMED AS AN ACT OF LOVE

I read a facebook post earlier on and i was moved by the truth it carried,  This pastor was saying something about how our societies are conditioning us by instilling fear so that we may think that we are inadequate.  This has being my truth for the longest time, I remember how my father was terrified by the idea of me having to start working as soon as left college.  He was convinced that me going into that world at a young age would put me at risk of being exploited and forced to go beyond what my job spec entailed.  this made me angry as i felt he had little faith in me and was wasting my time, but to my surprise i went into the corporate space being conditioned to those teachings and the worst part was the fact that i was now too desperate and i could wait to make my own money and that meant settling for anything that came my way.  It was my reality, I wasn't born to be rich and i was not alllowed to contest any mistreatment coming from the people who gave me a shot i didn't deserve and the more time i spend in any job the less exited i became.  My destiny was calling, i was troubled and had no peace in my soul.  And in the mist of being called by destiny, reality was there to remind me that i couldn't be anything greater than being better at my job as much, as i was good at my job, and as much i would always exeeded the expectations of my employers.  I knew in my head that i could do extremely well in anything i put my mind to but in reality i was held back by fear, the fear of failure, the fear of rejection and a fear of having to go further than my thoughts could ever wonder, the fear of being extra ordinary and having to be responsible of other people.  Life always had a way of throwing me into the deep end and i would often find myself in the first line of report seat and having to take the business forward, however i would remind myself that i am not adequate enough and no matter how much of my brilliance i could offer i was never be enough to pitch that great idea and see it come into life, my father loved me way too much that he couldn't bear to see me hurt or being disappointed, therefore he taught me fear and fear loved me enough to keep me from soaring.  Truth is destiny over powered fear and i lived a life of turmoil whereby i was contantly restless as a battle continued to get mightier within me.  And now?  Now I am unable to hold it in, now i am ready to see what this explosion is taking me,  I don't know much, all i know i am willing to go anywhere my thoughts take me and if it means i have to burn some bridges that's a risk i am willing to take.

FOR SOME PEACEFUL SERENITY

WHY THE FNB CONFERENCE & LEARNING CENTER

The FNB conference center is centrally situated in the Sandton business district and it is surrounded by major shopping and entertainment complexes.  the center has tranquil gardens that create a relaxed setting for your guaranteed peace of mind.

FOOD AND BEVERAGE

The food and beverage team is both creative and professional, they have buffet breakfast. lunch and dinner.  my favorite being the breakfast buffet as the their warm and welcoming chefs are always there to attend to the guests specific needs, with a large variety of food to choose from you will never feel like you are a visitor,  the staff is warm and friendly.  The meals are well presented with every detail taken in to consideration.  The guests are also able to advise if they have special dietary requirements like Halaal or Kosher,  the request has to be made at least 48 hours in advance. 

En-suite Rooms

their rooms are spacious, fully carpeted and air conditioned offering a relaxed and homely feel, they are so cosy one to would want to snuggle up all day in bed.  The perfect setting for a good book and great wine,  with a variety of good beverages to give comfort when having late nights.  I loved the lighting, perfect for those beautiful selfies.

Facilities 

The center has a lot of facilities, they can host different events from small intimate cocktails to large corporate functions,  with 17 versatile conference venues, 3 boardrooms and a 140 seater auditorium, A swimming pool, tennis and volley ball court to get that adrenaline pumping, a place you can be rest assured that you will never find me,  their fully licenced bar operates from 12:00 PM and from 16:00 PM on Sundays, they also have wireless internet available throughout the center.

I thoroughly enjoyed being here each time i have had the opportunity to visit and it forever will remain my favorite spot especially in the moments i need to re-boot.

The astounding Terry Pheto

Terry Pheto

Amazing doesn't even begin to describe her.  Born and bred in the vaal triangle Terry is proof that the vaal is a force to be reckoned with especially when it comes to talent. From multiple award winner to cover girl, entrepreneur and actress Terry Pheto radiates so much beauty and serenity.  To a lot of people she is a role model and to many she a beacon of hope.  She was born in Sebokeng but never for a single moment did she allow the mentality of where she comes from determine her future and she keeps on raising the bar without drawing bad publicity to her name. Terry Loves chocolates and Sales. She is truly A vaaly And She keeps on flying the Vaal Flag up high.

CHEERS TO THE FESTIVE SEASON

💝💝💝A BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING TO AN END OF A BEAUTIFUL YEAR

Waking up in the morning my good morning greetings are served by the chirping bird, the bustle of  morning commuters on their way to work.  The atmosphere is filled with warmth and the air is filled with echoes of the approaching festivities.  And one can't help the exitement of what this coming festive season has to offer.  and to kick of the festive we will be celebrating quiet a reasonable number of game changers who hail from the vaal traingle and have little snippets and young memoirs of what the year has brought forth for them.  We will also be checking out a few events and hot spots that are worth a visit, It is going to be a fun filled adventureous journey with lots of love and laughter.  I can't wait and i hope you are going to join me as i embark on a beautiful journey to 2019

I feel like wearing a floral dress and walk bare foot in hot sand,  good bye spring and hello summer
💝💝💝

IT TAKES SELF RESPECT TO DO THE RIGHT THING

Self respect is when one takes themselves seriously enough to respect other people, people who have no respect waste other people's time and are an insult to one's efforts.  I'm at the community library now and the little squabbles people are having here are so unnecessary, i mean who in their right state of mind or is there any self respecting human being that will have an argument on who is next in line to access the internet?  I was having a conversation earlier on with a friend or should i say my muse?.  We were talking about how grown ups feel that their age qualifies them to treat people in which ever way they choose.   And here we are we find ourselves around people with zero home grooming, probably raised by the same kind of parents we were talking about earlier.  If you have some amount of respect within yourself you would never in your entire existence be of any inconvenience to another person, especially if you don't know that particular person,  you would never place yourself before their needs.  Self respect is seen by how you carry yourself in public, it doesn't matter if are going through a rough patch and you are trying to make things happen for yourself, we can't be having the same conversation over things you know.  I myself hate rules but you will never see me disregarding rules if i know my actions will cause discomfort to the next person.  if and when you know that you are going to into a public space, take some time to groom yourself and make sure you look presentable, be sure to think before you talk,  you might be talking to your potential employer or potential client.  Treat people how you like them to treat you, have tact in your speech not all of us where raised by savages and most of all be polite and respectful.

It does not cost a thing to be nice and it certainly gains you a lot of respect and love,  who doesn't want to be loved?  Self respect will take you places you never dreamt about and it is not that hard try it, it works

WOMEN CHEAT BECAUSE

WHY DO WOMEN CHEAT?

I have seen women who are with really good men cheating on their partners and every time this happens I am left with a lot of questions.  One tends to believe that being with a caring and wonderful person who takes good care of your needs should be enough, but what we never ask ourselves is what does being taken care of mean? There are a few reasons I have noticed from people I've seen cheating on their supposedly good men. Some women cheat because they grew up in disadvantaged homes and swore that once they got a chance to get out of those situations they would never go back.  And when this woman who has always despised where she comes from meets a well off man who adores her and gives her the life she has always dreamed of, in most cases a woman who finds herself in such a predicament would decide that even if the love is not there she has all she needs and besides who says love pays the bills? And even though she can be able to be faithful to her man, over time the heart will want what it wants and she will cheat.
The second reason is that a lot of women are not able to voice out their sexual fantasies. The 21st century has unlocked a lot and one of them being that the modern woman now understands that sex should be enjoyable for both parties involved and since society has taught a lot of us that a good girl can't behave like a s@#*, an unsatisfied modern woman who is afraid that her partner might question the source of her fantasies can find cheating as a harmless and easy way to keep the peace in her relationship while her sexual needs are met.

Other women cheat because they are unable to manage a healthy balance in their lives. The modern woman continues to make strides in the corporate world and with some holding the highest positions in the biggest corporates, most of them forget to leave their positions statuses at the Office and well we all know that a lot of men can't tolerate being treated like subordinates by their significant other, In such situations this woman would go for a side nigga who won't mind being dominated in exchange of financial privileges therefore she gets to have her bread buttered on both sides.

Genuine love is hard to come by, make sure you date within the correct class and you are honest about what you are about from day one and if he/she is not what you want let them go and save yourself and that person time.